STEPPING OUT ON FAITH: WHY I STARTED THIS BLOG

My aunt challenged me to put my all into a project this year. Give it 100% for a minimum of a year and see where that gets me. 


Between my general disenchantment with what life as a "20-something" in a big city is like and my desire to pursue my passion of writing and media arts, I decided to embark on being a full time blogger.


This means putting aside a few things:

Freelancing. 

Freelancing is fun, and I get to be creative doing it. You name it (logo design, copy writing, ghost-blogging, photography and some web design), Ive freelanced it in the last year. But at the end of the year, I had a lot of money, a lot of stress from perfecting my work with several clients, a couple of portfolio items but nothing to really call my own. I spent a whole year building other people's brands without focusing on my own. I look forward to writing and creative in MY voice and vision for the first time in a long time.

School. (Well kinda.) 

I've always known I was going to get my masters degree. As much as I loved my small school in East Texas, I was ready to approach big city life post grad and the idea of spending two more years in Nacogdoches pursuing a masters was not my idea of fun. So i moved back to Houston and often said "If SFA ever had an online communications degree, I would be the first to sign up". In the summer I started school for a Masters of Education degree online. I work in higher ed and felt it was best for advancement opportunities in the future. I was miserable in the program, but Ive stuck it out so far. In September, an old professor randomly emailed me letting me know that an online communications masters popped up at SFA (Thank you God.) I applied and got in. Being the overachiever, I decided to pursue both degrees simultaneously starting this spring. Many people were impressed, and behind the scenes, although it felt great to boast going for two degrees, I was scared and stressed. How was I going to manage 6 graduate courses, a full time job that I commute almost an hour to, and a social life with my family, friends and my boyfriend?


A conversation with Brandon (thats my boyfriend btw...he'll make random appearances)  seemed to bring some calm into my anxiety storm. We were talking about school starting and he just casually said "postponing a program or both doesn't make you a failure". Thats when I started to think about the education program. Did I really want to work in higher ed for the rest of my life? Am I miserable in class because it isn't my passion? Over the next few weeks, God placed so many signs that I needed to make the decision. I am dropping the Education program. I didn't like it at all, and I want to dedicate my time studying what I love with the professors who grew that passion inside of me in undergrad. So, in a few days I will embark on a masters of communication at my alma mater, Stephen F. Austin State University. I can't wait. 

My job search. (kinda...again.)

Am I the only person who was naive enough to believe I was going to jump directly into my dream job with the pay I desired after college?! I got the pay but nothing else. (I wouldn't recommend it). While I have fun at my job everyday working with students, I don't want to do it forever (or even for the next couple of years). Ive always wanted to work in digital media or advertising. Im amazed at advertising and the way multiple brands communicate with their audiences. Around september, I began a job search to work in digital marketing for a non profit, arts organization or for an agency.

So far, I've gotten nowhere.

Ive gone on interviews and either I felt it wasn't the right fit or vice versa. Its an extremely stressful process (I'm 100% tired of seeing "3-5 years experience" as a requirement for entry level communications jobs)  and in general, a full-time job in itself. Because I'm focusing on building this blog and my brand, the job search will have to be reduced to one day a week after work. Its gonna be relaxing to not think about getting a new job all the time.

Fear.

I've always been a quitter. Well, not to be so harsh I'll call myself a "jump-shipper." In my quest for perfectionism, I've always left something before the blemish of failure could ruin my reputation. From karate classes in elementary school to a advertising business in college my friends and I just couldn't get off the ground, if I see things going wrong, I leave. In all honesty, thats why I haven't started taking this blogging thing serious- what if after a month I don't have 5000 followers on twitter and a strong following?  I set those unrealistic goals and out of fear and self doubt, my ideas never leave the paper.  I started to research blogging, I became overwhelmed with the number of e-books teaching me the "right way" to blog. I even postponed starting this blog for almost a month.

That ends now. For the next 300+ days left in the year, I'm saying goodbye to fear. Im choosing to make this a transformative 25th year for me. 

So, here's where I challenge you- What is the ONE thing you are going to give your all this year? Wanna learn how to cook? Wanna finish that degree? Plan on starting a business? Lets do this together. Let me know what you're giving your all this year.

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